I have not posted recently, so it only seems fair to my readers that I give some kind of explanation. There are many things that might derail your in life in your thirties, and I suppose that you can already guess a likely culprit. But the truth is that I have been caught in the great paradox of American consumerism.
Earlier this year I decided I needed to buy a novelty T-shirt that would allow me to show my love of this land called America. I had already seen the shirt I wanted in a store window and thought it wouldn’t be too hard to find it online.
Unfortunately, Google was offering me possibilities.
At first I wanted the authentic, original design, but then I was overwhelmed by the sheer potential of the choice before me. I had to make an aesthetic judgement and no matter how many designs I looked at, none of them seemed to be as grand as the design I remembered seeing in a store window.
That last one was never really in contention, to be honest. And the following is only a variation of another:
This one gives me the creeps:
I appreciate the following one because it references actual Bejamin Franklin lore:
I don’t even think this one is Ben Franklin at all:
This one at least seems to come with a celebrity endorsement:
And then I discovered this:
The only way out of this hell might be to buy them all.